Monthly Archives: March 2015

Hors d’Ouevres

It had never been about Jackson at all, this drive; it had always been revenge, vindication, somehow, in having not fallen ill, not being bed ridden and on the verge of a slow, inglorious end. Some petty triumph in being able to stand tall over his smug, self-righteous brother, finally, even if it would require the aid of a chair. And it was precisely this, he reckoned, given his current circumstances, that had surely led to his own demise.

Not that Peter Wright had ever allowed the vitriol and bloodlust that gnawed away at his innards to manifest on his person. No, indeed, he was a perfectly dutiful and reasonable fellow in Butte, residing at home with mother. But knowing that Jackson was running free and living large, while he was relegated to a life indoors, due to those bizarre and morbid fates that that one becomes enslaved to because of their genes, was too much to bear.

Too much entirely because Jackson’s incessant teasing. Yes, Peter was all of six inches tall. Patently obvious, and like any other unfortunate condition, not something that needed to be mentioned at every possible moment that the limitations imposed by such a condition made themselves manifest. Yes, a kids meal at McDonald’s was like a normal sized meal to him. Yes, a bathtub full of water was the size of a normal pool. Yes, he did need help getting on the sofa at mother’s house.

No, he couldn’t every be legally able to drive a car, much less a convertable. Thank you, Jackson, it wasn’t totally obvious already.

“At least that means I can’t also get in an accident, either, Jackson. Dick head”

Peter Anthony Wright! What on Earth did you just say!”

Oh God, he was talking aloud again.

“Oh nothing, Mother. You must’ve misheard me”.

“I should hope so!”

It had become so hard to maintain, lately. Jackson was always bombarding his Facebook with stupid links to things that Peter was incapable of doing, snide comments included. Drunken phone calls at preposterous hours, just to crack wise. A gyrating rage had bellowed within him for so long, growing more fierce and pronounced that it threatened to overcome him. Utterances leapt from him like the forked tongue of a serpent before he knew he’d made them. An endless tide of bile and hatred rose up with every moment, one thought occupying his mind: Revenge.

When he first heard of Jackson’s accident, though he would never let the thought take form outside of his now blackened heart, his immediate reaction was an uncanny joy: poetic justice, the most pronounced and tangible expression of these feelings. But of course high flying Jackson, stark leather jacket bound to his shoulders as always, Icarus on wheels, of course Jackson’s stupid cockiness would do him in. A turn taken too fast, a break pressed too late – who cared.

Justice, surely.

But here he was, after a wrong turn in the hallways of the hospital, victim of the very same hubris: trapped, hostage, doomed…..

Rene Descart: Private Investigator

Rene Descartes: Private Investigator!

Rene Descartes: Private Investigator!

When you’re cornered and don’t have a friend you can count on, He is there. When you need brain and brawn, He is there. And when it seems like all hope is lost – HE ARRIVES!

Rene Descartes: Private Investigator!

Episode 1: Cogito Ergo Done

Spaceships Have Janitors, Too

Planet Dave

Planet Dave

I always thought outer space would be more glamourous than this.

I joined the Spacemen’s Academy as soon as I was out of school, thinking that I might get a chance to explore the outer systems, maybe be an Alien fighter, or even scrounge for Palladium – but no. According to the Space Federation, my eyesight is 20-80, I’m not “physically capable of operating space weapons”, so I’m just a pilot of a freighter on an Inventory Fleet.

Sighhhh

I fly alone for StarMax Systems’ Frigate StarMaxFC0012, replenishing all StarMax beverage and snack dispensaries on any given planet, spaceport, or other service station. It sucks.

I figured that this trip I was taking would suck as well, but much to my surprise, and very contrary to my expectations, this would prove to be one of the most fantastic experiences of my life….